Recently, my son (age 17 months) was sick for the first time in his life. He experienced a cold --- complete with runny nose, cough, low-grade fever, and more.
He was miserable! I could see he was overwhelmed by this new feeling we call 'a cold'. At times, he would look at me desperately as if to say, "Why am I feeling this way, Mommy? My nose won't stop snotting and my throat hurts and I can't breathe well. I'm hurting, I ache all over, and nothing feels right. Help me!!!"
Watching him suffer was absolutely horrible for me. He is normally a very healthy little boy. Before this, when he needed something (such as food, diaper, teething, attention, etc) I figured out how to meet his needs. But this cold was something else entirely. It pushed all my mother bear buttons and the desire to protect and nurture my cub was paramount.
I would wipe his red-raw nose (as gently as possible) and cuddle him close, encouraging him to relax and occasionally play. He nursed and napped frequently with spurts of energy, followed by painful lethargy and coughing. My poor little guy!
It was painful for me (the mommy) to watch him struggle and suffer. My heart would get tight in my chest and I would think "He's so little. Let me suffer for him."
And my soul would immediately respond, "This is part of his journey. You can't do someone else's spiritual homework for them."
This got me thinking about how we sometimes feel compelled to take on another person's journey. We must distinguish between lightening the load with the occasional helping hand AND doing it for them.
Especially if something keeps happening with them again and again, and you find yourself saying "I just fixed that for them!", consider that you are not the one who is supposed to 'fix it' for them.
Each person has spiritual lessons that they are here to experience and learn from. If they don't learn from the lesson (or someone tries to do it for them), the lesson is repeated until they have completed it. This is part of Spiritual Natural Law, especially the Law of Karma and the Law of Personal Responsibility.
Bottomline: You cannot take on someone else's lesson for them. You can love them and support them, but you can't do it for them. Allowing your loved ones to learn and experience is important for their soul growth.
That's a lesson that I was reminded of during my son's bout with his first cold. Perhaps it is a lesson for you too.
He was miserable! I could see he was overwhelmed by this new feeling we call 'a cold'. At times, he would look at me desperately as if to say, "Why am I feeling this way, Mommy? My nose won't stop snotting and my throat hurts and I can't breathe well. I'm hurting, I ache all over, and nothing feels right. Help me!!!"
Watching him suffer was absolutely horrible for me. He is normally a very healthy little boy. Before this, when he needed something (such as food, diaper, teething, attention, etc) I figured out how to meet his needs. But this cold was something else entirely. It pushed all my mother bear buttons and the desire to protect and nurture my cub was paramount.
I would wipe his red-raw nose (as gently as possible) and cuddle him close, encouraging him to relax and occasionally play. He nursed and napped frequently with spurts of energy, followed by painful lethargy and coughing. My poor little guy!
It was painful for me (the mommy) to watch him struggle and suffer. My heart would get tight in my chest and I would think "He's so little. Let me suffer for him."
And my soul would immediately respond, "This is part of his journey. You can't do someone else's spiritual homework for them."
This got me thinking about how we sometimes feel compelled to take on another person's journey. We must distinguish between lightening the load with the occasional helping hand AND doing it for them.
Especially if something keeps happening with them again and again, and you find yourself saying "I just fixed that for them!", consider that you are not the one who is supposed to 'fix it' for them.
Each person has spiritual lessons that they are here to experience and learn from. If they don't learn from the lesson (or someone tries to do it for them), the lesson is repeated until they have completed it. This is part of Spiritual Natural Law, especially the Law of Karma and the Law of Personal Responsibility.
Bottomline: You cannot take on someone else's lesson for them. You can love them and support them, but you can't do it for them. Allowing your loved ones to learn and experience is important for their soul growth.
That's a lesson that I was reminded of during my son's bout with his first cold. Perhaps it is a lesson for you too.
Comments
What I try to do is envision myself back then performing in a way that years of experience have taught me to do today (not that I've learned everything!). Then, I attempt to correlate it with the present challenge and hope I've done enough to settle that particular karmic debt!
Bob