Thursday, January 28, 2010

Lessons from a Child: Transitions with a toddler

My son is now old enough, tall enough, and interested enough to help me wash dishes. Perhaps I should define help from a 15 month old.

He climbs onto the sturdy chair I have placed next to the sink, chooses a utensil and a dish at random, and proceeds to play in the water. Sometimes he bangs them together to make music. He plays in the spray of he water and sudsy foamy bubbles. More importantly, he gets to share my world.

Elbow to elbow, we work.

Occasionally, he hands me a dirty dish. And I smile and say 'thank you - what a good helper" and I proceed to scrub it. Sometimes he takes a newly washed and perfectly clean dish out of the drying rack and adds it to his collection of forks, spoons, pots, and pans that still have remnants of lunch on them. 'That's the point of this game, right Mom?' his innocent smile seems to say. I try not to get frustrated.

So when almost all the dishes are clean (some washed twice) and he has one lonely spoon and bowl left in the sink that he is tinkering with, I start drying the dishes.

While I'm working, I'm stalling for time. I am deliberately delaying the moment that I know is coming.

Because I am a chicken.

I look over at him and heave a long sigh. It's time. Like all good things, this too must end.

I gently say "this is the last dish to wash - we're all done", I scrub the dish, and announce hopefully "let's go play with the blocks." But he wants to stay and play with the water (for hours if I let him). And he's not budging.

"Let's go read a book." Nope.
"Let's go play with your toys." Not taking the bait.
"Let's go play with the ball." Who am I kidding?
"Say goodbye to the water. We're done. Bye-bye water." No.
Last ditch effort. "Help mommy put this bowl away in the cabinet." NOOOOOO!

He will not willingly leave the chair, the sink, and the 'fun'. Ugh.

I understand. He likes being busy. He likes working and contributing in his way. And he wants to stay and play with the water. I understand. I really do. Because I like being busy and contributing too. And I can't stand at the kitchen sink all day like a lifeguard. I have many more tasks to accomplish.

If I can just lure him away from the sink, I can do those activities. Lovingly and firmly, I take him off the chair and the crying starts. He flails around and I set him down. He collapses in a miserable heap on the floor.

Not working.

Poor little guy. It's rough when something we want to do, something we are in a good groove with, changes. Life is like that. Transitions happen. And how we learn to adapt to and allow transitions dictates our level of happiness or unhappiness.

My toddler son is learning to adapt. [I am too.] He is learning to enjoy what he has while he has it. When it is gone (and sometimes after a good cry) he finds a new endeavor. He sees the joy in another task, another event, another time.

I think about people who haven't learned to adapt to transitions. Life is so incredibly difficult for them. There are times that I balk at change too --- times when my stubborn ego digs its heels in.

Then, I hear my Divine self speaking: You are going to be okay --- adapt with the transition. Everything is happening in right timing and right order for your Divine evolution. It's part of the journey to have transitions and changes, some comfortable and some that stretch the comfort zone. My toddler son is developing perfectly and so am I.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Reaching the next space of Light

This morning, I pulled on my long johns for the 47th time this winter, bundled myself and my son in hats, mittens, scarves, and snowsuits, and went for a walk in the wide wide world.

Crisp and cold, the ice and snow snapped under my boots. The sky was blue and clear. And the sun was shining. Actually shining. Life giver and life sustainer, the Sun is greatly missed on gray days of winter.

Grateful for the warmth of the sunshine, I stood for a moment basking in the beams. The light kissed my cheeks and eyelids. And I smiled. "I miss you," I thought. "I have missed you, Sun." It was like saying 'hello' to a dear friend.

As I continued my walk, I saw the Sun winking at me from sparkling icicles and diamonds in the snow. Icy puddles became mirrors in the light. My walk became about walking past the shadows of houses and trees to reach the next space of light.

Life is like that sometimes --- walking past the shadows and walking thru the shadows to reach the next space of Light. We walk thru crisis, grief, despair, loneliness, and discomfort to (re)discover the amazing brilliance of hope, joy, and peace.

Sometimes it feels like the Light will never come. I know what that feels like [and not just because I live in a northern clime *smile*]. But eventually, with the practice of patience and right intention (and especially if we ALLOW), we see the Light again. We feel the presence of God.

Today, while in the depths of winter, I long for the days filled with sunshine, but I also know the importance of the seasons in a year and in a lifetime. We have rich soil because of the snows and the cycle of the earth and Sun. We have a rich life because of the other kinds of weather, aka emotional weather.

When we discover ways to lovingly and honestly communicate with our own Souls and to lovingly and honestly relate with other people (other Souls), we feel the Light and Glory of the Divine in our lives.

May you discover YOURSELF in the Sunlight of Today!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Live joyously and gloriously

Time and time again in mediumship readings . . . those in Spirit confirm: they love us and they want the highest and best for us.

And they want us to be happy. Truly happy.

Oh, they like being missed. They like knowing that they were and are special. Who doesn't? *smile* But humor aside . . . They don't want us to be so mired down in grief that we don't live our lives.

They especially don't want to be the excuse for someone not progressing in life. That's a lot of sadness to lay on them. So take personal responsibility for your Happiness and Unhappiness and find ways to express Joy.

Honor them and their memory by realizing how precious Life is, how amazing this opportunity to experience Life is, and share that Joy with Others.

Our loved ones in Spirit want us to live joyously and gloriously.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Your job during a mediumship reading

If you are the person who is receiving a mediumship reading and desiring spirit contact, you have a very important job --- CONFIRMATION.

This means confirmation either by your own personal knowledge or thru the personal knowledge of another person known to the spirit.

During the course of the mediumship reading, you can confirm the information that you know to be true. And some information may require validation after the reading with friends or other family members who are privy to this certain info.

Here are some examples of ways in which a spirit may try to validate who they are:

  • The spirit's personality traits or physical characteristics may be described. This is part of what I call the Essence of Spirit.
  • Most spirits are willing to share how they passed with the medium.
  • Sometimes the spirit will give names very clearly or just the initial.
  • Often spirits will give important dates of reference to further validate themselves.
  • They have been known to mention other family members, sometimes calling them by name.
  • They have been known to mention events from the past and sometimes places.
  • They have also been known to mention a recent event even if small in your current life or other family members lives to show awareness of the 'here and now' and their spiritual presence at the event.
  • They have even been known to show their favorite flower, book, song or any favorite from their life or even yours.
  • And just to surprise us, they may find some really unique way of validating themselves that we probably have not even thought of yet. I call these wonderful tidbits from Spirit.

The spirit may choose to use any of the above methods or even none of them. But they will find a way to validate themselves.

Sometimes a sitter will hold out for a specific validation that they asked the spirit for in advance. Sometimes this method works, but many times it does not. That is why it is very important not to have any preconceived notions or expectations about the reading. If you get your special validation, great; if you do not, just know that it is not always possible. That is just the way things are!

Although mediumship readings have become a more common practice these days because of famous mediums such as John Edward, Sylvia Browne, and James Van Praagh, please do not dismiss the specialness of having this wonderful form of contact.

A mediumship reading is and always should be considered a special event in a person's life. This is a sacred connection and communication.

Because of this wonderful process we call mediumship, you receive the most important validation of all: YOU ARE AN ETERNAL SPIRIT !

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Fortress of Solitude

We have had SNOW, snow, and more snow. [The good news is that the house doesn't look like an igloo. Yet.]

After over two and a half feet of snow, Ole Man Winter decided to take a break from dumping mountains of white stuff on us. And he let Jack Frost take over.

Jack gave us some bitter artic temperatures that created ice sculptures on the houses.

Huge pillars of ice are reaching twenty feet toward the ground, delicate dribbles of ice create a lacy crystal veil, and a collection of ice spears bend inward toward the house like an row of big teeth.

We are surrounded by ice and snow. And we are living in a 'fortress of solitude'.

Do you remember Superman's secret hideout in the Artic? It was called 'The Fortress of Solitude'. [Gosh, I sound a little geeky.]

Created with the power of a special crystal from Superman's home planet Krypton, the Fortress emerged out of the Artic snow with big juts of ice formations and several smaller ice details. This was Superman's place to train and learn about his origins and abilities.

Well, that's what I think Lily Dale looks like right now. And it certainly adds to the situation that Lily Dale is a special place to train and learn about our spiritual origins and abilities.

In addition (and synchronistically in keeping with the concept of Solitude), today I actually got to take one of my rare walks without a child in tow [he was napping with his Daddy]. I love my son, but it was nice to have Solitude. Just me and my thoughts. It was soooo nice.

Superman was definitely onto a good idea. Make that a GREAT idea.

Solitude is not loneliness. Loneliness is the pain of being alone. Solitude offers an opportunity to feel the glory of being alive.

In solitude, you have time to think and take stock of your life. And that's the gift I was given today. That is the gift you receive when you take time to meditate, when you take time to enjoy a walk, and when you have quiet moments to reflect.

Now that my son is a little older, I affirm to enjoy more moments of Solitude, to make and take the time for me (just me). I shall create a symbolic 'fortress of solitude' for those opportunities.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Cocooning after a death

After a loved one passes, it is common for a grieving person to cocoon for a while. They may withdraw for awhile to regroup and remember.

They review memories of their loved one --- the good, the bad, the otherwise. This is an important step. After all, relationships with others help us to discover who we really are. It makes sense that their deaths help us to discover who we really are, too.

For some, a loved one's death may jumpstart thoughts about their own mortality, and they may begin to explore their spiritual beliefs and make a more conscious connection with their soul. They may also develop or seek spirit communication with their loved ones in Spirit for evidence of survival after so-called death.

Some people have the additional journey of coming to terms with how their loved ones passed (ie. sudden passing, long illness, murder, suicide, accident, etc.) This is normal as well. However, those locked unhappily in the 'how and why did it happen this way' seem to suffer from an internal mental loop of punishment.

To those that are looping like that: I encourage you to find a (hopefully graceful) way to let go of analyzing events with your mind. Your loved ones in Spirit want you to live gloriously and joyously.

I'm not telling you not to grieve and I don't have all the answers for you. But I do know that when a person remembers their spiritual and cosmic connection to all that is (both seen and unseen) and truly listens to their soul, they feel divine grace and comfort. This sometimes take patience and persistance, but it can be done.

Just like spiritual progression, grief is something that cannot be rushed. In my experience, there is no official timeframe for grief. Each person has to find what works for them and find it in their own time.

Bottomline: I feel that grief is not something to get over but rather something to move through.

Grief can be an opportunity to cocoon for a brief time, discover your spirit and the spirits of others in a new way, and emerge like the butterfly with 'wings' that give your soul flight for Life.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Wonderful tidbits from Spirit

Early in my mediumship development, I noticed that it was sometimes the things that seemed inconsequential to me that had the most meaning for my clients.

To further explain, I am referring to the wonderful little tidbits of information that spirits share during a reading that cause a client to exclaim, "Yes! I know what they're talking about!" These statements are usually accompanied with either a fantastic laugh and/or grateful tears.

During a mediumship reading, I focus on bringing through the Essence of a Spirit. This establishes who we are connecting with in Spirit by either physical traits or conditions, personality, or other information.

With these identifiers in place, a conversation (of sorts) emerges with those in Spirit. Symbols, events, visual or other sensory cues, or funny circumstances may be mentioned.

For example, this might take the form of a vision of keys followed by the smell of dog food and the sense that the person in Spirit is laughing at my client. When I convey these obscure (to me) pieces of information, the client explains that she dropped her keys into the dog food dish that very morning. This is a prime example of how spirit loved ones have a sense of humor and how they are demonstrating their presence.

Another example: we were communicating with a client's husband in Spirit. At the very tail end of the reading, the husband showed me a "dark-colored bird" and was insistent that I mention it to her. So I said to my client (my voice dripping with doubt, afterall how could this bird have ANY meaning), he says that you should understand why he is mentioning "the dark-colored bird".

She was amazed! (so was I) This bird reference had great meaning for her. She explained that in anticipation of her reading with me, she had watched a home video just yesterday of "the dark-colored bird". She further explained that this bird was the last thing that her husband had filmed before dying and that during the film her and her husband kept asking each other, "what kind of bird is that? a black bird? it has a dark color." This was something special that her and her husband had shared and, because of our session, they were sharing again.

Sharing those kinds of moments with our loved ones is so uplifting. And although I am sometimes surprised at the wonderful tidbits that Spirit decides to share, I feel happy knowing that I am helping clients connect with their loved ones who have passed. And that the special things that make us "us" persist after so-called Death.

Here's another tidbit.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Sunday speaker at COLS church service 1-10-10

This Sunday, I will be the Featured Speaker and Medium at the Church of the Living Spirit. [My home church! *smile* I've been speaking at and serving at this church for almost 15 years.] Church services are held at the Assembly Hall in Lily Dale, NY at 10:30 a.m.

For those of you who are not familiar with a Spiritualist church service, here is a basic outline of events:

  • Lecture from the featured speaker (me, this Sunday)
  • Healing time - opportunity to receive beautiful, channeled energy from one of the healers
  • Messages from Spirit - demonstrations of mediumship are presented by the medium (me, again!) giving short messages to those in the audience
  • Music - songs with live music accompaniment

Bonus: This particular Sunday is the church social, known as Medium's Sunday. After the morning church service, join us at the Lily Dale Fire Hall for fellowship, brunch, and/or to register for mini-readings. Lunch is $5 ($2 for children), $7 for mini-reading. Or $10 for both lunch & mini-reading. Mini-readings are held at the Assembly Hall at 1:15 pm.

So there you go! If you are coming to church, you will see me. And if you wish, you can make a day of it with lunch and a mini-reading.

For more info, visit and

Monday, January 4, 2010

Crisis and hope

Sometimes clients and friends contact me because they are in emotional crisis. When they are in the deepest parts of their misery, they typically refer to it as "a deep, black, and scary hole". This hole seems endless and horribly traumatic.

Frequently, they are so locked in a painful loop of their own mental and emotional anguish that they cannot embrace Hope. Many times their feelings are a reaction to:
  • the death of a family member or friend
  • divorce
  • job insecurity or loss of a job
  • financial hardship
  • health concerns
  • and so on
The most used word is "crisis". And in response to the "crisis", they are contemplating extreme actions and are seeking external validation of the "right path". Sometimes in mediumship readings, their loved ones in Spirit offer their opinions about a client's situation, but I encourage clients to take time to listen to their own soul.

Cultivating a conversation with your soul is vastly important in life. Whether you are experiencing a time of crisis or a time of peace, your soul is your constant connection with the Divine. With right practice and intention, you will be prepared for times of crisis and be able to have a rich and abundant spiritual life that will sustain you always.

A crisis can be a turning point in a life and an opportunity to follow a new path of spiritual understanding. When we understand this, we can embrace Hope. Hope is not a physical feeling; it is a spiritual grace.

To embrace hope, explore ways to listen to your inner guide and practice the presence of God everyday. And have faith that, as you seek the truth within your own soul, you are expressing divine grace.