My little boy is going through the CLIMBING phase. Many of you may know what this means, but let me tell you what it means to me --- constant fear for his life and limbs.
We've done our best to babyproof the house, but he still manages to find ways to put himself into peril.
He is climbing onto chairs and standing precariously on their edge to reach for tabletop contents, light switches, and the computer. Like a curious monkey, he wants food, salt shakers, napkins, pencils, envelopes, the computer mouse, the candle, and my water glass. And he will reach for them with no thought to physics, gravity, or support.
He is climbling on bookshelves. [Mostly his favorite bookshelf that has (thankfully) only two shelves, three if you count the very top.] As he scales the shelves, he clears away any books or toys in his path with quick pushes of his feet and hands. He wants to reach the top of his Everest and survey the landscape below and NOTHING and NO ONE will stop him. Obviously, he doesn't know about not standing on the top step of a ladder and he doesn't think about the possibility of falling.
I'm thinking about it.
Admonishing him with words like 'NO!', 'Be Careful', ''You could Fall', and 'You could get Hurt' seem to have zero effect on his desire to climb. Hypervigilance doesn't help. It just makes him want to climb even more. If I prevent his climbing then I'm a mean cruel mommy who doesn't understand and I've thwarted the next great mountain climber.
It doesn't help that many times my fears of him falling are unfounded. And he climbs up and down bookcases and chairs with amazing agility. No falls, perfect dismounts, and scores a 10 from my [imaginary] Olympic judge.
But sometimes he falls. Those are the times that I hate being right.
When he bonks his head and it hurts, he cries. And I feel like the worst parent ever. I run for the frosty bear and hold it to his head to prevent pain and swelling, but he pushes it away. All he wants is to be held. And in a few short minutes he isn't crying, he's off and running (sometimes climbling) again. Like it never happened.
Amazing.
If I fell like he does, I would probably still be blubbering about it and too scared to go near a chair or bookcase for at least a month. You know what happened when I had my eye poked. For those of you who need to catch up, see this post. But back to the case at hand.
Everytime I see him teetering even a fraction of an iota, my mommy heart screams NOOOOOO! And here comes my internal struggle . . . I don't want to program my son to be afraid --- to be afraid of heights or to be afraid of climbing or to be afraid of falling.
I don't want him to not climb for other goals in his life. If I tell him 'no' now, will he be scarred for life? I know this may seem silly, but this is what has been going through my mommy mind.
I've talked to other parents (those currently with toddlers and those whose toddlers are now grown ups) and they tell me, "I don't know how children survive this stage of growth, but it's perfectly normal." Then, they share their own horror stories of their toddlers climbing and falling.
One parent said, "I thought if I cleared away most of the furniture my daughter would be safe. We were living with only the most necessary and softest pieces of furniture imaginable. Boy, was I wrong! She managed to climb on the overstuffed couch and swan-dive off of it, landing on one of her plastic toys. Her face looked bruised and battered for a few weeks."
Another parent said, "I even started putting the chairs on top of the table, but my son reached up and pulled the chair onto himself. Kids find a way. And don't get me started about the bookshelf."
Even my own mother told me about how she caught me climbing a floor-to-ceiling built-in bookshelf and I was almost to the very top. She was shocked!
I suppose this means I should take comfort in the fact that this is somewhat of a rite of passage --- for my son as a climbling toddler and for me as a parent learning to parent.
Until I find a version of peace about his climbing, I will try to remember that we are spiritual beings experiencing the physical plane. Even though there seem to be physical limitations, they are either temporary or something to be overcome. I will remain watchful of his climbing and MY behavior toward it.
We've done our best to babyproof the house, but he still manages to find ways to put himself into peril.
He is climbing onto chairs and standing precariously on their edge to reach for tabletop contents, light switches, and the computer. Like a curious monkey, he wants food, salt shakers, napkins, pencils, envelopes, the computer mouse, the candle, and my water glass. And he will reach for them with no thought to physics, gravity, or support.
He is climbling on bookshelves. [Mostly his favorite bookshelf that has (thankfully) only two shelves, three if you count the very top.] As he scales the shelves, he clears away any books or toys in his path with quick pushes of his feet and hands. He wants to reach the top of his Everest and survey the landscape below and NOTHING and NO ONE will stop him. Obviously, he doesn't know about not standing on the top step of a ladder and he doesn't think about the possibility of falling.
I'm thinking about it.
Admonishing him with words like 'NO!', 'Be Careful', ''You could Fall', and 'You could get Hurt' seem to have zero effect on his desire to climb. Hypervigilance doesn't help. It just makes him want to climb even more. If I prevent his climbing then I'm a mean cruel mommy who doesn't understand and I've thwarted the next great mountain climber.
It doesn't help that many times my fears of him falling are unfounded. And he climbs up and down bookcases and chairs with amazing agility. No falls, perfect dismounts, and scores a 10 from my [imaginary] Olympic judge.
But sometimes he falls. Those are the times that I hate being right.
When he bonks his head and it hurts, he cries. And I feel like the worst parent ever. I run for the frosty bear and hold it to his head to prevent pain and swelling, but he pushes it away. All he wants is to be held. And in a few short minutes he isn't crying, he's off and running (sometimes climbling) again. Like it never happened.
Amazing.
If I fell like he does, I would probably still be blubbering about it and too scared to go near a chair or bookcase for at least a month. You know what happened when I had my eye poked. For those of you who need to catch up, see this post. But back to the case at hand.
Everytime I see him teetering even a fraction of an iota, my mommy heart screams NOOOOOO! And here comes my internal struggle . . . I don't want to program my son to be afraid --- to be afraid of heights or to be afraid of climbing or to be afraid of falling.
I don't want him to not climb for other goals in his life. If I tell him 'no' now, will he be scarred for life? I know this may seem silly, but this is what has been going through my mommy mind.
I've talked to other parents (those currently with toddlers and those whose toddlers are now grown ups) and they tell me, "I don't know how children survive this stage of growth, but it's perfectly normal." Then, they share their own horror stories of their toddlers climbing and falling.
One parent said, "I thought if I cleared away most of the furniture my daughter would be safe. We were living with only the most necessary and softest pieces of furniture imaginable. Boy, was I wrong! She managed to climb on the overstuffed couch and swan-dive off of it, landing on one of her plastic toys. Her face looked bruised and battered for a few weeks."
Another parent said, "I even started putting the chairs on top of the table, but my son reached up and pulled the chair onto himself. Kids find a way. And don't get me started about the bookshelf."
Even my own mother told me about how she caught me climbing a floor-to-ceiling built-in bookshelf and I was almost to the very top. She was shocked!
I suppose this means I should take comfort in the fact that this is somewhat of a rite of passage --- for my son as a climbling toddler and for me as a parent learning to parent.
Until I find a version of peace about his climbing, I will try to remember that we are spiritual beings experiencing the physical plane. Even though there seem to be physical limitations, they are either temporary or something to be overcome. I will remain watchful of his climbing and MY behavior toward it.
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