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Acting authentically in marriage

Relationships are wonderful gifts given to us by the Divine. Unfortunately, relationships today are under more cultural and interpersonal pressure and stress than ever before in our history.

I heard recently that about 90% of people get married. That makes marriage the most important intimate relationship most people will ever experience. The current figures indicate that over half of marriages end in divorce. But it doesn't have to be that way. How can we can make a long-term difference for healthy relationships and marriages?

I have noticed that people can be compatible on many levels, but the most important point of compatibility is spiritual.

I'm not saying a husband and wife need to both believe in Jesus or Buddha or Mohammed, but they do need to be on the same page regarding Spiritual Natural Laws, such as the Law of Attraction, the Law of Personal Responsibility, and so on.

Recently, my husband and I watched the movie "Fireproof". We were impressed with its messages regarding romantic love, especially marriage. Already in our relationship journey, we have navigated the joys and hurdles of a new marriage and a new baby, and we have many more steps to go. We fell in love and wish to stay loving, so we both are consciously committed to working on our relationship every day. Some days it is hard work.

When two people are acting authentically in a relationship there will be times of conflict. After all, two honest people cannot agree all the time. He will want to go out and she will want to stay home. He may want to visit family and she may want to take a trip to a new place.

What do I mean by acting authentically? It's important to be truthful on the “being” level. This level may never get talked about, but it will be vital to the health of the developing relationship.

Marriage by my definition is the commitment of two souls to remain loving, adaptable, steadfast,and true on a united life path. Adaptability seems to be a key word in relationships that work well.

By practicing adaptability, we can dissolve the areas of friction. That way when disagreements emerge (minor or major) if both partners are committed to sitting together and saying, “How can I give on this, and how can you give on this, so we can be together on this?” the relationship will strengthen and grow with each resolution.

When a person gets pressured to be something he or she is not, the relationship is sure to suffer. Personal decisions that are made out of timidity or coercion represent a surrender of one’s integrity and commitment to a false self. Emotional blackmail, anyone?

But those actions and attitudes that emanate from authentic parts of yourself strengthen and fortify the relationship.

Bottomline: Tell the truth, behave the truth, and be the truth. Under these conditions, a relationship is sure to thrive and flourish!

Comments

Anonymous said…
well said.

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