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Between us

I did it. I finally looked at my husband and said, "Someone has come between us." [*gasp*]

Thankfully, my husband chuckled and said, "She's mine, buddy."

We looked down at our son wedging his small body between us. We were dancing to a song on the radio and he was 'cutting in'. Our little boy was looking up at us with urgency in his blue eyes and tugging on our legs.

We both sighed "Alriiiiiiiight" and lifted him up to join us. With a happy grin, he swayed with us for awhile, but eventually squirmed down to run off and play --- just enough time for the romantic song to end.

When our son joined our circle of love, the dynamic of our love relationship changed. Suddenly we were parents with new responsibilities and new joys. Having a third (albeit small) person nestled between us was/is wonderful, but we're finding out:
  • we can't dance without a certain someone cutting in
  • we can't cuddle on the couch without a certain someone climbling up and perching between us
  • we can't kiss without a certain someone interrupting and wanting a kiss too
  • we can't sleep without a certain someone taking up the whole middle of the bed
  • we can't share a meal and give each other undivided attention
  • we have so many responsibilities between parenting, work, and other commitments that most days we don't have time for us

When I pointed this fact out to a friend, she said "Marriage is work. Marriage is a lot of work. Children make it even harder." Well, I don't like that. Loving someone shouldn't be work. And children should (by and large) add to the experience of marriage.

I think that marriage needs attention. My husband wants/needs/craves my full and undivided attention at times. My attention is a hot commodity with a two year old in the room. And I admit that I want/need/crave my husband's full and undivided attention at times.

Between our jobs and family life, it's sometimes difficult to carve out time for us --- to find time to just sit, talk, share and reconnect.

Marriages often fall victim to the same behaviors that wreck our bodies, our friendships, and our dreams --- we don't dedicate focused time to our most important priorities.

So I am making the affirmation that I will carve out that time (even if it's only five minutes). Every day, I shall joyfully and easily create the time to talk, share, and reconnect with my husband, giving him my undivided attention.

I know that the time and attention I give to my marriage will pay exponential dividends in joy, companionship, and teamwork. And more importantly, I will not look on my marriage as work --- I shall look on my marriage as a beautiful dance between us.

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Comments

Rose said…
What a wonderful post, Willa, and an astute observation about marriage and family life. This is something I had to do when my twins were born 14 years ago. I try to affirm the importance of my relationship with my husband every day as well.

I look forward to reading more of your blog! I was teaching at Lily Dale this past week and saw you demonstrate at the Forest Temple. Maybe sometime in the near future, we can meet. :-)

Blessings to you and yours!
July 2, 2010 at 1:11 PM
Natalie said…
Being a mother of five children ranging in age from 17 down to 2, I too, have been exasperated by the 'wedge'. All i can say, is that, what you are doing is the right thing, as they will all leave home one day, and you and he need to still have a bond. :)
July 9, 2010 at 4:38 AM
patti said…
pure and simple, i love your thoughts willa!
August 5, 2010 at 1:02 PM
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