No, don't touch that.
No, don't eat that.
No, don't pull Mommy's hair.
No, stop squirming while I am dressing you.
No, don't empty the box of spaghetti onto the floor.
No, don't balance precariously on top of pillows while tugging at the lampshade.
No, NO, nooooooooo!
I realize that the word "no" is important for him to hear sometimes, however, I don't want to overuse the word. (Phrases such as "not for baby", "yucky", and "drop it" also equate to NO and can be overused as well.) And more importantly, I do not want to stunt his natural exploratory urge to investigate this amazing world.
Therefore, in my effort to be a good parent, I am trying to come up with creative (preferrably nonverbal) ways to refocus his attention on an approved object or activity. As an added challenge, I am trying to handle the situation in such a way that he does not cry.
I am becoming a Master of Distraction.
When he is about to taste or touch something he shouldn't, I must use my persuasive Mommy powers to refocus him. As he heads toward peril, I have to pull out of my bag 0f distractions something wonderful and fascinating, such as:
- using slight of hand to surreptitiously remove a dangerous object and replace it with a baby friendly toy
- singing a song and making it up as I go along
- picking him up, up, and away into birdflight, propelling him away frompower cords, computers, plants, open doors, etc.
- quickly removing a book from his clutches and sharp teeth by flapping the pages like the wings a bird
As his mother and his entertainment, I must be ready to summon up my newly acquired distraction skills at a moment's notice. Plenty of times I have been rewarded with his smile of sunshine, his giggle of delight, or he hug of gratitude. And I try not to become disheartened if I have to say "no" because I am after all a Master of Distraction-in-Training.
As I learn to become a Master of Distraction with my child, I am reminded that I should use this same method on myself. More often than I care to admit I focus on worries, fears, and doubts. They peck at me, robbing me of joy and the sweet blessing of the moment. Then, someone or something helps me change my focus. A distraction occurs. I am relieved of my painful thoughts and I am once more allowing myself to feel the colours, tastes, and smells of the moment.
Some distractions are good and healthy such as the sky at sunset, a glass of refreshing water, a person's smile, and a song on the radio that gets you singing along. On the flip side, I certainly understand that we each are here to experience our life, that we should face what life brings, and that we can't live permanently in a world of distractions, especially ones that encourage unhealthy behaviors, such as excessive TV watching, consuming a whole batch of cookies, complaining bitterly, and becoming a zombie to your friends and family.
Occasionally when we are told NO by the people we love, the people we work with, and others, we feel lack. We feel out of harmony with the Law of Abundance. And sometimes we feel that something we want in our work, relationship, family, etc is yanked dramatically away and we cry out in perceived pain of separation (like a child who has their perceived toy of the moment taken away). We feel pain on deep levels until we focus on the good of the moment.
Perhaps we can learn from our children and recover quickly from pain. Perhaps we can release from the expectation of a certain outcome. Perhaps we can allow the good distractions to help us through the moment until we find peace, joy, and acceptance again. Perhaps we can find better ways to express NO to others. Perhaps we can become Masters of Distraction in our own lives and train ourselves that the next time we are told NO or we say NO to look for the distraction and to witness with childlike glee the enchantment of life.
Life has a way of meandering us through swamps, up hills, and through valleys --- enjoy the view.
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